Choices

trying to be the love

I frequently say “love wins”…and I believe it ultimately does. However sometimes it’s hard to discern where and how to focus the love. What’s the best approach…who do you love…and why? Is it an individual? A group? Humanity? The planet? The divine?

Especially here in the midst of Easter/Passover/Ramadan. It dawned on me earlier today that the symbols for 2 of these religious faith systems are based on nature…a star and the moon…and it’s nature that’s not “earthly”…it’s “heavenly”. The other, the one I was raised under (kind of loosely)…in has a symbol of crucifixion…a manmade device created for the purpose of capital punishment that seems to have been invented by the Greeks…and made famous for all of posterity by the Roman & Jewish leadership who feared Jesus and his following….and at the time of his execution Jesus was praying under the star of David. Personally, just for the record I’m more a believer, based on my study and life lessons…feel that the general beliefs of America’s indigenous peoples are more “real” to me…they resonate with me…and they tend to accept Jesus as a great teacher…but not organized Christianity so much. But they believe in “live and let live”in regards to spiritual beliefs.

This week has been a bitch and I don’t use that word lightly or frequently. I found out that a small group of people who I fully expected were going to back my current documentary project are holding back, out of what I interpret as a variety of fears. I don’t believe they are seeing the big picture, or down the road…and I’m not feeling the love. A few have even taken on the role of “gate keepers” and are restricting the flow of information to lists of names that I and other leaders & backers expected to have available. Some of these “gate keepers” and influencers even gave me preliminary interviews and signed releases for the use of their image & voice. One even encouraged me to “pull the plug” on the project that I have now invested 3 months of my life developing.

This group acted bravely in the past and united to achieve a common goal. They even contacted me, I did not go looking for them. Some of the leadership are still solidly behind the project. So I have a presentation to give on Docs in Progress pitch night on Monday. Again, they came to me, I didn’t lobby to get this opportunity. It’s free to the public and you can join in at this link: Doc Trailer Link

After a zoom meeting, numerous e mails and phone calls I have decided to keep going…because it’s what I believe that love should do. I’ll alter the arc and scope of the project, but this has actually made me feel more free to do exactly what I believe as an artist and historian is “right”. Some of them expected me to do their bidding, their way with no “skin” in the game. No investment. I told them, I’ve been a hired gun for over 40 years. If you want me to make your show and have you exert creative control then hire me. It’s that simple. Their organization doesn’t even exist anymore. They accomplished their goal and disbanded. I’ve done my own research and set up the LLC to do this project…and applied for a Fiscal Sponsor. So now the few “gate keepers” have made it clear that they will not even pass along any information about this project to their list of 800 names. I’m not even asking for the list…so I’m totally on my own about funding because they are afraid of the potential content…they don’t want to give the “other side” any air…it might embolden them…or give them some visibility. I could go on for an hour about this. Tune in on Monday and/or take a look at the Indiegogo Monumental Struggle

My other issue is my adult son. I’ve written enough tonight. I’ll leave that one till later. PEACE